Fly
by Jessica12
Summary: Part 2 - Jess's letter finds its way back to Rory....
1. Default Chapter

Title: Fly   
Author: Jessica  
Email: j_rothen@yahoo.se  
Distribution: Wherever...just let me know where  
Spoilers: Teach me tonight  
Rating: PG  
Feedback: YES please....j_rothen@yahoo.se  
Pairing: Rory/Jess  
Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.  
Summary: Jess is back home after the accident and he longs for   
Rory. All of this ends in a letter.  
AUTHORS NOTE: English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar  
mistakes may occur.  
  
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New York  
  
Night came with all its glory.  
The stars were thrown clear across the sky and brought with them  
the powerful moon.  
I look at them now searching for something I long for:  
peace.  
My soul feels so weary tonight.  
I want to sleep but I know I can't.  
She occupies my senses.  
It's amazing.  
Even thought we are miles apart it still sometimes feels like she  
is here beside me.  
I talk to her.  
I know, it sounds silly.  
But the thought that she is here beside me, listening, brings   
my soul the comfort it needs.  
I have tried to call her.  
I have picked up the phone so many times during the past weeks only  
to put it down again.  
It's not that I don't want to talk to her.  
God, I don't want anything else.  
But it's just that I'm afraid.  
I'm afraid that she will hate me.  
Or maybe that she has forgotten about me.  
That she has brushed me a side.  
I know that I have no claim to her.  
She doesn't belong to me.  
I wouldn't call us friends.  
We are something else.  
Something in between.  
But now everything is ruined.  
What we might have some day is forever gone.  
I wasn't prepared for that thunderstorm that struck me that night.  
She had just been someone out of reach for me.  
But that didn't stop me from wanting her.  
That night something changed.  
I saw something there that wasn't there before.  
I saw longing in her eyes.  
She made me smile again.  
She told me that she believed in me.  
I sat there beside her with my hands screaming out to touch her.  
But I ruined everything that night.  
I know that they blame me.  
I blame me.  
I caused her pain.  
A broken arm.  
It could have been worse.  
Much worse.  
I don't want to think about what if.  
I move away from the window and lay down on the bed.  
It seems it happen only yesterday.  
Two weeks has passed since I left Stars Hollow.  
I wanted to go.  
I couldn't stay.  
He couldn't let me stay.  
I know that now.  
I don't blame him.  
He has stood up for me when no one else would.  
All of this is my fault.  
I should have gone back to the diner.  
I should have kept my mind of her.  
But all I could do is to feel joy that she finally saw me.  
That she wanted to be with me.  
I ruined it all.  
Now I'm back here were I started.  
Lost in a city that never sleeps.  
I have tried to drive her out of my heart.  
Sometimes I even manage to convince my heart that she is no one.  
Just another.  
No one.  
But I always crumble.  
I have never felt like this before.  
This lost.  
It scares me.  
I fear losing grip.  
To fall.  
But I know that I should surrender this battle.  
I have already lost.  
She has my heart.  
I reach for a pen and paper.  
I start to write those words that scream inside of me.  
  
"I know that I might never see you again.  
I fear that I will never see you again.  
There is so much I want to tell you.  
So many words left to say.  
But first I have to say something.  
I'm sorry.  
I never meant anything like this to happen.  
I know that they blame me.  
I blame me.  
Sometimes I wish I could take it all back.  
But I can't and that hurts me more than anything does.  
I don't really know if you ever will read this.  
That you want to.  
But I need to say this.  
I have kept this inside for far to long.  
Sometimes I think I will go mad if I don't tell you this.  
I have never known anyone like you.  
I remember when we first met.  
I was so angry then.  
At the world, at anyone that tried to get close to me.  
But you were like an angel that stepped into my life when I need  
someone to guide me.  
You were the light in the darkness.  
For that I thank you.  
You saved me.  
You saved me from myself.  
And I don't know what to say to let you know how much that means   
to me.  
I tried to be friends with you.  
But I know that I can't do that.  
I wish I could.  
But I want something more.  
Something I know that you are not prepared to give me.  
Not yet.  
I tried to keep my feelings for you at bay.  
Believe me I tried.  
I have never worked as hard as I did to not let it show.  
But I failed.  
I can see that now.  
I have surrendered.  
I'm well aware that I can't have you.  
That you are not mine to win.  
Maybe you will never be mine.  
But I will keep hoping.  
As I'm sitting here far away from you all I can   
see is your lovely face.  
You don't know how lovely you are.  
I wish you could see how beautiful you are.  
So perfect.  
Angel, that is what you are.  
You have given me a peace of heaven.  
And for that I thank you.  
  
Yours forever,  
Jess "  
  
I lay down my pen and let my hand run over the paper.  
For a moment I prayed it would carry my message to her.  
That it would whisper the words I didn't dare to speak out load.  
That I loved her.  
Those three small words that scared me so.  
I have never been in love so how will I know that these feelings  
I have inside is love.  
That they are right.  
Sometimes I wish that there were a map I could follow or some  
rules that could guide me on my way.  
But there are nothing.  
I'm left here complete alone.  
My hands are shaking as I fold the letter and put it in an envelope.  
I pray that this letter will find her whereever she is and that  
it will find her well.  
I lay down on my bed and close my eyes.  
I let my dreams carry me away to a place far away from here.  
  
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FEEDBACK-------j_rothen@yahoo.se  
  
Part two is coming....Soon.. 


	2. Heaven

Title: Fly - Heaven   
Author: Jessica  
Email: j_rothen@yahoo.se  
Distribution: Wherever...just let me know where  
Spoilers: Teach me tonight  
Rating: PG  
Feedback: YES please....j_rothen@yahoo.se  
Pairing:Rory/Jess  
Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.  
Summary: The letter finds its way into Rory's hands  
AUTHORS NOTE: In this story Rory never went to New York to see Jess.   
English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar  
mistakes may occur.  
---------------------------------  
  
Three days later,  
Stars Hollow,  
night.  
----------------------------------  
  
The moon shines in through my window and keeps me company as I  
read his letter once again.  
His words found its way inside, piercing the huge wall that I have  
around my heart.  
I shiver.  
I want to put it down, but I can't.  
I have read it over and over again trying to find faults in his  
character.  
Trying to disregard his lovely words.  
Trying to find lies.  
But I found nothing, only the words that managed to touch my  
heart over and over again.  
Now I'm sitting here feeling lost.  
I turn my face towards the moon and I wonder if he is looking up   
at the same wondering were I am.  
It's been three weeks now since he left Stars Hollow.  
My arms is getting better and better for each passing of a day.  
I spend my days trying not to think about him.  
I refuse to miss him.  
I will not miss him.  
But as I sit here with his letter in my hand all those feelings I   
have kept locked inside comes back to haunt me.  
If I close my eyes I can almost see him in front of me.  
Smiling.  
Saying my name.  
I have never met anyone like him.  
Sure, I have had my share of dangerous boys.   
Just look at Tristan and me.  
Whatever that was.  
But Jess was different.  
I can't put my finger on it.  
It's something there.  
Something I fear naming.  
I know that I have to let this feelings out otherwise I will  
shatter like glass.  
So I reach for a pen and paper and start to write those words that  
my heart is whispering.  
  
"I'm sitting here watching the moon pass by outside my window.  
I wonder if you are watching the same moon.  
I hope you are and I hope this letter will find you well.  
I can't find the words to let you know how much I love the words  
you wrote to me.  
It moved my heart and turned my world.  
I don't know how to talk to you.  
You are nothing like no other I have met.  
You came into my world like a warm wind.  
You changed me.  
In so many ways.  
You opened my eyes and made me see things differently.  
You set my soul free.  
For that I thank you.  
I owe you so much and you owe me nothing.  
You don't have to ask for forgiveness.  
You have nothing to feel sorry for.  
That night, I can't describe it.  
All I know is that you set my soul free that night  
and made my heart fly.  
I don't know how or when.  
I just know.  
So I thank you.  
I don't believe in kindred spirits.  
But you are the closest to heaven that I ever will come.  
I thank god for you.  
  
Yours forever,  
Rory Gilmore"  
With a sigh I surrender.  
I put down my pen and paper.  
My hands are shaking.  
I lay down on my bed.  
I close my eyes and let my dreams take me away.  
  
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Feedback....j_rothen@yahoo.se  
  
Part 3...coming soon.... 


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